the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
Primadonna Girl, yeah…
welcome to australia where our national anthem was almost a song about a guy stealing a sheep but committing suicide before the police caught him
Trackname: Up The Wolves
artist: The Mountain Goats
album: The Sunset Tree
Up The Wolves- The Mountain Goats
"I’m gonna get myself in fighting trim
Scope out every angle
Of unfair advantage
I’m gonna bribe the officials
I’m gonna kill all the judges
It’s gonna take you people years
To recover from all of the damage
Our mother has been absent
Ever since we founded Rome
But there’s gonna be a party
When the wolf comes home”
nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
i need a 3 hour kiss
Word clouds generated from Sansa Stark’s dialogue and italicized internal monologue from books 1-2.
The first cloud is the period before King Robert’s death.
The second cloud is the period after King Robert’s death.
Most often used words in the first cloud: “Father, want, Ser”
Most often used words in the second cloud: “please, your, Grace”
Positively connotative words are in blue. Negative words are in red.
terrible > stupid > fool > poor > smelly > ugly > horrible > awful > evil
good > brave > gentle > kind > sweet > splendid > true > fair > magical
#the contrast is super depressing #the words changed color depending on how she used them #please changed because she stopped asking for lemon cakes with it and started begging for her father’s life with it #love changed because she only used the word to lie about how much she loved Joffrey
Be the unfathomable void,
Swathed in darkness and sprinkled with star light,
Planets run through your veins and stardust covers your skin,
You are unending, ever changing and ever expanding,
Your will is indomitable and your heart is inexorable,
You weren’t made for this world, this world was made for you,
So take it by the throat,
Shatter the Earth,
Tear the cosmos apart just because you can
You are the unfathomable and the unfathomable falters for no one.